What an idea from psychiatrist Irvin Yalum – “there is a world of difference between falling in love and standing in love.”
PICTURE: Christopher Beloch/Unsplash
When you fall in love, you risk subsuming yourself in another person, becoming lost, dissolved in them. It sounds romantic, intoxicating: it is. But it’s our unconsciousness trying to deal with our loneliness, anxiety, and fear of responsibility by abdicating ourself to someone else so they are now their problems. We’re just delaying the inevitable.
Better to stand in love. To join another as equals, coheirs, partners who will take on the challenges of life together, each bringing something to the table – themselves. To face responsibility, loneliness and anxiety together. That’s formidable!
Oh, this also goes for God too. Don’t fall in love with God, stand in your love for God.
Paul Clark’s musings can be heard on radio across Australia and at atthetop.org.au.
