SAMANTHA ELLEY reflects on trusting God, even when our prayers aren’t answered as we’d like…
Northern Rivers, New South Wales, Australia
Building trust. PICTURE: Andrey Popov/iStockphoto.
“The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls” – I Peter 1:9
My husband Mark has a very bad back.
We have seen specialists about it and effectively his spine is crumbling. After years of working in scaffolding where he carried heavy metal items and later as a chef, where he was constantly carrying, lifting and moving, his back has called it quits.
“While I truly believe God heals and can do so in miraculous ways, I have learnt through the process of watching Mark deal with his bad back, that sometimes the miracle is in the journey. Recently, I got very cranky at God. Dare I say, I demanded He tell me why He hadn’t healed my hubby’s back.”
He is currently on a pension, being unable to work in his trained field. Meanwhile, we look at the avenues available to him, so he is able to at best, go back to work, or at least, have a quality of living. He has suffered through steroid needles and pain-killers, including withdrawal from some heavy duty drugs, as we explore options for surgery.
It has meant there are times he is in too much pain to socialise or even go to church on a Sunday. Or he is falling asleep due to the pain-killers. Mark’s relationship with God has always been a searching one. When we were first married, he came to church to keep me company, never truly admitting to a personal relationship with Jesus of his own.
Over the years he has become good mates with our local minister and other church friends and seen for himself how God can change lives. One topic that always comes up for him when asked what we can pray about for him, is his back.
While I truly believe God heals and can do so in miraculous ways, I have learnt through the process of watching Mark deal with his bad back, that sometimes the miracle is in the journey. Recently, I got very cranky at God. Dare I say, I demanded He tell me why He hadn’t healed my hubby’s back.
In His patience and wisdom, He started to show me what was really happening. Mark had discovered YouTube on our smart TV. That doesn’t sound like something fantastic or miraculous, but because he likes listening to music and because he couldn’t move at the worst times when his back was playing up, he would research some of the Christian singers and songs he came across.
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This lead to him being inspired by many of them who had written their songs at the time of their own tribulation. Singers like Toby Mac who had lost his son and written a song about it, had Mark admiring the strength behind the words. From there he started listening to different speakers on their Youtube channels, who again helped him understand where he was at with God.
Because he was not busy, God had his attention. My prayer was being answered but not in the physical sense. My husband was drawing into a deeper relationship with God and he was letting people know about it.
His back is still not healed and like everyone, he is still on his journey of faith, but I am learning to trust that God has a bigger picture than just the immediate circumstances, with the ultimate goal of the salvation of our souls.
