MEREDITH WRIGHT reads Australian Susy Lee’s guide to bringing children into the conversation about the state of the world – and how they can be part of the solution…
Susy Lee
Raising Kids Who Care: Practical conversations for exploring stuff that matters, together
598press, Australia, 2021
ISBN-13: 978-0645141009
“Lee does not shy away from addressing the very real threats to children’s empathy and compassion. Consumerism, lack of social cohesion, technology are all problematic aspects of our culture. But by addressing these in conversation – providing tools and strategies for overcoming these challenges – Lee helps us develop an intentional, reflective mindset rather than piling on the guilt.”
When Susy Lee talks to children, she does so from a place of curiosity and wonder. She sees children as creative and thoughtful and looks to them to lead. Not naïve about the challenges families face in 2021, but believing in the capacity of young people, and families, to impact their world positively.
This belief in children is the framework for Lee’s helpful new book, Raising Kids who Care: Practical Conversations for exploring stuff that matters together.
Early in the book Lee asks, “can you think of a time your child amazed you?” We are invited to be curious from the outset. Lee’s book honours the passion of children and the ways they already care and then equips families to harness that passion and build on it together. In many ways, it’s an invitation to hope – genuine, active hope for a better world.
Raising Kids who Care serves up complex ideas, rooted in analysis of research and data. It’s educational but not dry. Lee is a kind and wise guide on a journey that covers an extraordinary amount of terrain. She gives clear direction while leaving plenty of space to be more or less creative, and more or less talkative, depending on the dynamics of your family.
The book consists of 40 conversation guides covering a huge range of topics under key areas of ‘relationships’, ‘culture’, ‘our inner selves’ and ‘our world’. Lee commissions children to lead the conversations treating them with respect as intelligent, thoughtful beings with ideas and solutions to offer. Children are given a platform to speak while being encouraged to listen – it’s a fine balance that Lee achieves skillfully.
“This book will help you reclaim your family’” Lee claims – a bold promise but this invitation to regular conversations is a gift for busy families. The adults and the children around the table are invited to develop their understanding and grow together.
Beginning with 10 conversations about relationships, Lee doesn’t attempt to address challenges facing our world before inviting families to build a strong connection from which children can advocate for change.
So, be warned adults, we need to be ready to be open. This book is not for the parent who thinks they have all the answers. We need to be ready to be honest about where we have failed. And it takes humility to allow ourselves to be exposed in this way.
In its pages we travel through failure and forgiveness to conflict then gratitude, resilience, and contentment before we dive into discussing the influence of our culture. Lee does not shy away from addressing the very real threats to children’s empathy and compassion. Consumerism, lack of social cohesion, technology are all problematic aspects of our culture. But by addressing these in conversation – providing tools and strategies for overcoming these challenges – Lee helps us develop an intentional, reflective mindset rather than piling on the guilt.
Sensibly, Lee saves the discussion around technology and screens to the middle of the journey. This one is an eye-roller for the kids in my house so having them well and truly strapped-in before this topic appears is wise!
Philosophy, positive psychology, spirituality and Lee’s own Christian faith inform these conversations. We explore caring for our souls, cultivating empathy and wisdom, The conversations then lead to the value of generosity and living with purpose.
As a Christian parent, I found the one piece missing for me was a robust Biblical framework for these conversations. It’s clear that Lee’s Christian faith inspires her writing and her passion. The accessible conversations in this book would benefit from an equally accessible theology – a ‘dig-deeper’ piece for families to explore what the Bible has to say on these issues. For Christian families fostering a worldview grounded in their faith, this would add value to an already valuable resource.
That said, Lee has created a set of tools that are highly useful, and equally accessible to people of all faiths or no faith and that is powerful.
As it stands, Lee’s book helps us see the world for what it is – broken. But she lends real hopefulness to every discussion. And there is no topic too difficult or too controversial. Poverty, refugees, politics, climate change are all given time at the table. These conversations are informed but they’re filled with hope. As a result, we’re steered away from overwhelm to genuine hope and empowered action.
As a parent who works in the development sector, I found this book is exciting. Its book’s strength comes from the platform Lee helps us build for our family. As we take this journey, our relationships are strengthened; we’ve built a robust sense of family mission; developed our awareness of the, often negative, influences of our culture; and explored ways to develop our character and nurture our inner, spiritual lives. And it’s from here that we take an honest look at the state of the world together.
In my work daily at Baptist World Aid (where Susy began her research for the book), I read stories that point to the brokenness of our world. Despair is always lurking. But I have found that it is generous, engaged families who inspire me every day. These people remind me that God is at work in our world. He is drawing people into the restoration project that is his Kingdom come on earth. For families longing to collectively be a part of that project – Lee has constructed a hope-filled and practical resource for us!
As Lee says: “wherever there is horror, there are also incredible people making things better”.
Meredith Wright, a writer at Baptist World Aid Australia, is passionate about justice and igniting this passion in others, particularly Australian Christians. She’s the mother of three tenacious daughters who are helping daily to shape her vision for a better world for all.
