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CANADA: ONE LADY’S MISSION TO CHANGE THE WORLD THROUGH ENCOURAGING GOOD MANNERS

MICHAEL IRELAND, of Assist News Service, speaks to Judi, The Manners Lady…

Assist News Service

“Manners matter and character counts!” That’s the message of Judi, The Manners Lady, the award-winning entertainer who is sweeping North America and capturing childrens’ hearts with her exciting music and vital message of kindness and respect – especially this September as families, schools, churches and communities in Canada celebrate National Manners Month.

GOOD MANNERS COUNT: Judi, The Manners Lady, has a vision to inspire people to live with respect through her music. 

 

“Just imagine what America, or what Britain or Canada could look like, if for one month we were intentional about focusing on manners, respect, integrity and thankfulness in our families, business dealings, school life, athletics, and in our churches?” challenges Judi, The Manners Lady.

“Just imagine what America, or what Britain or Canada could look like, if for one month we were intentional about focusing on manners, respect, integrity and thankfulness in our families, business dealings, school life, athletics, and in our churches?” challenges The Manners Lady.

“Marriages could be healed as husbands feel respected and wives feel appreciated. Family tensions eased as children express gratitude to their parents rather than whining and complaining. Road rage would disappear. Employee relationships would be smoother and clients would love the great customer service. Athletes would play fairly and the school yard bully could be won over by kindness.”

Judi, The Manners Lady (aka Judi Vankevich), has a vision to impact our culture and strengthen families by inspiring this generation to live with respect and character – and she does it through music with her award-winning CD, It’s Fun to Have Good Manners!

Her book, Manners are Cool: The Official Manners Club Handbook for Kids! is the basis for Manners Clubs popping up in schools and churches around the world. Churches are using the curriculum for Sunday School, kids clubs and for summer VBS Camps! Judi founded the non-profit The International Project for Manners & Civility to take this message of manners and civility to the world – from the Halls of Congress and Wall Street-to struggling families in the inner city.

Seeing the impact of her music on children, Judi has the vision of raising the money to donate her CD and The Manners Club Kit to every school in America and in countries where there is violence and lack of civility. She hopes her TV show for kids that is currently in development (Judi & The Character Kids) will help take this message to children around the world. The CD is being translated into French and Spanish and soon Arabic and Chinese.

Judi performs at both public and Christian schools and at churches with the motto, “Manners Matter and Character Counts!” and has been featured on Focus on the Family, CBS television, and Canada AM and on the covers of the Boston Globe and Christian Science Monitor.

“Manners are an outward expression of our inward character-it’s who we really are!” notes Judi, a graduate of Regent University’s School of Law & Government, and Trinity Western University’s School of Business & Political Science. “I knew God had a call on my life to ‘change the world!’ I thought that it would be through politics, but then I realized that I had a unique opportunity to influence this generation to live with self-government and self-control-that’s good manners!”

Boston’s historic Park Street Church hosted the ‘Manners Matter & Character Counts’ Weekend with Judi the Manners Lady, climaxing with a city-wide community concert which The Boston Globe called ‘The Best Family Pick for the Weekend!’ Pastor Kris Perkins notes: “Judi’s concert was a perfect event for us to draw both families from our community and families from our church. Her enthusiasm was contagious and her message was inspiring. Our children are still singing The Manners Lady songs!

Parents know the power of music to reach children, and they are thrilled with impact Judi’s songs have in their children’s lives. One father, Greg Strom from Vancouver, was amazed. “My son has listened to your CD non stop for the past two and a half days, and now he’s obeying ‘right away without delay!’ and he said, ‘look Dad! I’m wearing my happy eyes, not my bad attitude eyes!’ He’s setting the table without being asked and he even asked, ‘Is there anything else you want me to do?’ Thank you Judi!”

Judi’s CD includes raps, Buddy Holly-style songs, country westerns and ballads such as The Golden Rule RapR-E-S-P-E-C-TThe Five Fabulous PhrasesAttitude of GratitudeWe Want to Obey Our Mom & Dad! and Happy Eyes. There’s even a song that teaches how to say “Hi! How Are You?” in 12 languages. When Judi opened for Zig Ziglar, he remarked later, “Judi’s CD needs to be in every home in America.”

Judi grew up as a “farm girl” in a Christian home singing with her three sisters, ‘The Johnston Sisters’. (They tried to get their hockey player brother, Randy Johnston, to sing, but he wouldn’t! He did go on to play for the New York Islanders) After graduation, Judi was a fashion model in Paris and later worked in feature film development at Universal, Lorimar and Disney Studios.

In Virginia, Judi taught modeling at an agency while her filmmaker husband, Ned, worked at CBN and pursued his PhD at Regent University. “I loved teaching modeling but it was so superficial. These girls had such deep needs and I wanted to pray over them, but it wasn’t my agency, so I started my own agency, ‘Elan Models and Casting’ which included classes on inner and outer beauty.”

When Terry Meeuwsen, co-host of The 700 Club, heard about these workshops and she told Judi: “It’s great what you’re doing with teenaged girls, but we need to reach girls at an earlier age and teach them character and manners. And we need to get the boys too! I’m on the air, so I can’t do it. Why don’t you do it!”

So Judi took up the challenge. “I knew from growing up teaching Sunday School and helping with Child Evangelism Bible Clubs, Pioneer Girls, Girl Scouts & Awanas, that kids love music and they love to be part of a ‘club,’ so we called it The Manners Club!”

“It started with five or six families coming to my living room in my little apartment at Regent University’s student housing. We sang songs and role-played the right way and the wrong way to do things! (Kids think it’s hilarious to act out the wrong way!)

“We practiced Terrific Table Manners, Telephone Manners, The Five Steps of Awesome Introduction Skills, Friendship Manners, School Manners and Church Manners. We focused on fun and practical ways of honoring our parents and making Grandma and Grandpa feel “special!” 

Judi’s CD and Manners Club have since launched a national wave of parenting buzz words such as obeying “right away without delay”, “The Secret Code to the Interrupt Rule”,” the importance of choosing to wear “Happy Eyes!” and “saying NO! to The Bad Manners Monsters who try to invade our families: the Grouchy Rouchy, Messy Bessy, Whiney Rhino, Grabba Jabba, Wiggly Jiggly and Slobbo Roo” – helping children learn self-control, which is one of the Fruits of the Spirit.

Judi has developed a colorful Family Pledge Poster and an Athletic Pledge Poster for National Manners Month that families, churches and schools can download and put up on their fridge and bulletin boards. It is a manners course on just one page-focusing on the three secrets to a happy family: respectful attitudes, respectful words and respectful actions. 

Asked what manners are being infringed in American society today, Judi replies: “Well, most kids don’t mean to be rude-they just haven’t been trained. They are often disrespectful to their parents and authority figures; they don’t know how to look people in the eye nor how to have a decent conversation with adults-let alone their peers. They often have bad language and forget to be thankful. The concept of going “the extra mile” is forgotten-unless they get paid overtime. Almost every crime in our society-murder, stealing, bullying, graffiti, and road rage-are extensions of very bad manners: lack of respect for others, for their property and for oneself.

A MONSTER WITH BAD MANNERS: Whiney Rhino, One of the characters Judi uses to teach children about bad manners. 

Mark Early, president of Prison Fellowship International, notes that “if more of our teens could learn what The Manners Lady is teaching, we’d have fewer of our teens in trouble and in jail”.

Bob McDonnell, Attorney General, Commonwealth of Virginia, thanks Judi for her work in helping communities and families. 

“One’s character is defined by his or her words and actions,” he says. “To be treated with respect and kindness, one must follow the Golden Rule and extend respect and kindness to others. Not only does our conduct define us as individuals, but it also provides an example for others, especially our children. If we all practice respect and good manners, we can create a more civil and ordered society where a free exchange of ideas and opinions is valued.”

“In the mid 18th century, Britain was regarded as one of the cruelest of nations. It took the passion of one man, Member of Parliament William Wilberforce, to battle against slavery and to speak up against the corruption. ‘God Almighty has set before me two great objects, the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners.’ His efforts helped change the face and heart of Britain, and England became world renowned for its personal civility and business ethics.

“Traditionally, manners were taught in the home, and reinforced by grandparents, neighbors and the popular culture and television. Well these days, children certainly are not getting learning character and manners from ‘The Family Guy,’ the internet, or after school day care. In many families, with either parents split up or both parents are working, and when they are home, they’re driving their children to sports, piano lessons, dance, youth group, hockey, soccer, baseball. All too often the family meal is drive-through McDonald’s – not the ideal place to learn table manners or conversation skills.”

So was Vankevich saying the breakdown of the family is partly responsible for the lack of manners in today’s society?

“It’s certainly plays a part. Although many single moms are doing an amazing job raising good kids, it’s always a struggle. Today many mothers feel they have to work or they choose to work outside the home, so who’s watching the kids when they come home from school- as they spend many unsupervised hours in front of the television or computer.

“Also, our society has become very transient. We live on the west coast, and my parents and my husband’s family live 3,000 miles away on the east coast. In the “olden days” Grandmas and Grandpas were always around to remind children of their manners. Today, young moms are often on their own to ‘wing it’.”

In fact, one of Judi’s visions is to do a series of private Manners Lady Concerts & Manners Club Parties for young Hollywood celebrities and their young children – to help these young parents learn practical parenting tips and to help their children learn the principles God has given us for success in life: the power of living by The Golden Rule, the power of living with respect, and the power of living with a thankful heart-an attitude of gratitude.

Each of the songs on the Manners Lady CD is based on a Scripture verse. One of the most popular songs is The Golden Rule Rap from Matthew 7:12:

‘If you wanna’ be really cool– 
Then you’ve got to know The Golden Rule!
Come on kids and sing this song, 
You can be sure you’ll never go wrong. 
You ready? Ready! 
Alright let’s go — one, two, three, four, 
Do unto others (Do unto others)
As you would have them (As you would have them) 
Do unto you! (Do unto you!) 
Let’s say it again!

“I love getting emails and calls from kids who have had their lives influenced by the music,” says Judi. “They’ve heard the CD online or downloaded it from iTunes. Things that we took for granted growing up – these kids aren’t getting. Families are hurting. and we have such a little window of opportunity to reach the children. My friend, ventriloquist Paul Powers, noted, ‘If we don’t win their hearts today, then they will break our hearts tomorrow.’ Our children are being taught to ‘do your own thing,’ ‘look out for number one,’ ‘if it feels good do it.’ They are becoming very self-centered, thinking the world rotates around them. They’re being told that they can decide what’s right and wrong, but that’s a lie. God has already written His laws and truth on our hearts. There is a right and a wrong. It is right to honor your parents. It is right to tell the truth and be kind and respectful. It is right to respect other people’s property and not to steal. These are all good manners.”

What can parents do who want to teach their children manners? Is it ever too late?

“Children respond to praise!” says Judi. “Catch your kids or grandchildren being respectful or thankful. Let them know that you appreciate them and how special you feel when they are respectful. Tell them ‘Thank you’ for saying ‘thank you!'”

Grandparents are seeing the vital role they can play in passing on their values to the next generation. Kathy Meyer, a grandmother from Oklahoma, after hearing Judi on Focus on the Family, got the idea to run her family reunion’s “Cousins’ Camp” this northern hemisphere summer using The Manners Club Kit & music and with the theme of The Golden Rule. 

“Her grandchildren all wrote me thank you letters and to tell me what part of their Manners Club Cousins Camp they liked best!,” says Judi.

“It’s our responsibility as parents and grandparents to teach manners and character to our children. Ina press release from the White House, President George Bush said: ‘Parents you have an important role in the public schools of America – send your children to kindergarten already having learned their manners’.”

Judi concludes by saying her passion is to inspire a generation to “love God and love others.”

“This sums up the 10 Commandments and the two great commandments in Mark 12:30-30 – ‘Love the lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.’ The first four commandments are our duty to God and the next six commandments-don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t take someone else’s wife-these are our duty to our fellow man. Our manners are a very practical way of showing God’s love to others. People will know we are Christians by our love. Through our love and kindness, we can influence our community and our culture for Christ!

Judi adds: “My vision is to provide resources to help parents do the job that they’re called to do-raise their children to love God and love others. My prayer is that parents, grandparents, teachers or pastors can use these materials to help them pour God’s truths into children’s hearts and minds during National Manners Month and all year long.”

www.TheMannersLady.com
www.nationalmannersmonth.com

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