ELISABETH CARTER provides some tips on caring for the outgoing person in your life during the coronavirus crisis…
As the coronavirus continues to impact every aspect of our everyday lives, something I have become increasingly aware of is how hard this period will be for my husband.
He is a total extrovert who thrives on contact with others, so this period is proving difficult for him.
Make sure you make time to connect with the extrovert during your life, even if it’s over the internet. PICTURE: Jud Mackrill/Unsplash
For those of you who live with or love an extrovert, I thought I would put together some hints and tips you can use to ensure your extroverts aren’t losing their minds during this time.
Understand your extrovert
Being an extrovert doesn’t just mean being outgoing: it means you’re someone who is actually energised by spending time with other people. To me, an introvert, this is confusing – a big party full of strangers leaves me feeling totally exhausted, but my husband will come home buzzing!
By understanding this, you’ll be able to recognise why this period is so hard for your extroverted friends and family: they aren’t able to easily access their favourite source of energy.
Clear communication is key
If you’re an introvert living with an extrovert, you may find your extrovert wants to hang out with you all the time, because they have no-one else to see!
My husband and I have worked this out by using the concept of the bubble. As an introvert, my ‘bubble’ – the mental space and energy I have for spending time with others – is a lot smaller than my husband’s. He knows that sometimes there is only room in the bubble just for him and no-one else. But sometimes there isn’t even room for him!
By communicating clearly in advance about who I am and how I operate, I’m able to ensure that my husband isn’t offended when I tell him I need some alone time. A lonely extrovert may otherwise feel upset.
Foster opportunities to connect
If you live with an extrovert, make sure you carve out time to intentionally connect. You might feel like since you’re at home all the time you don’t need your date nights or family dinners…but that’s definitely not the case. Ensure you remain intentional about really, truly connecting on a deeper level.
If you know an extrovert living alone, make sure you reach out to them when you can. Texting and emails are good, but phone calls and video calls are even better.
Do make sure that not all your conversations revolve around how hard this time is. Connect just to have fun as well as to share information and updates. Watch a movie, play a game or put on some music and dance! If you don’t live together, there are lots of games you can play over the internet together.
Point them to God
A lonely Christian extrovert may sometimes need a reminder that they are never truly alone.
As we read in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Perhaps you could send this verse to a lonely friend, or if you’re creative, you could cross stitch it, paint it or design a cool computer wallpaper.
Or, if you know a lonely extrovert who doesn’t follow Jesus, this could be an opportunity to talk to them about your faith. Obviously you don’t just want to say, “sorry you’re lonely, just follow Jesus!” – but this is a unique opportunity where people are realising that there is more to life than their regular routines.
This is hard time for all of us, but in some ways it’s hardest for extroverts. So make sure you take of care of those extroverts in your life!
