20th June, 2008

JIM UTTLEY

Winnipeg, Canada

Assist News Service

On Wednesday, 11th June, while Canada's Prime Minister Stephen Harper was giving an official apology to Canada's Aboriginal People, my wife and I were driving into Regina, Saskatchewan, to attend the Rising Above National Conference on issues of abuse and residential schools. While the speech was historic and profound, I wasn't fully aware of what this apology was leading up to. Nor was I aware of how the events of this week would impact me.

As we drove to our destination, we continued to listen to the speech broadcast live to the nation. Arriving at the conference site, we walked into an auditorium where some 200 Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal people were watching the speech. Tears flowed throughout the gathering. It was a time of relief for some, yet very painful for others as it dug up memories that many kept hidden for years.

During the next three days as I listened to people sharing their stories, I too found myself swept up in the whirlwind of horror, pain, and trauma. You see, I too am a survivor of physical and sexual abuse. While not an Aboriginal, nonetheless, I experienced abuse and have lived with those painful memories since I was ten years old.

My trauma of separation, abandonment and abuse began on a Sunday afternoon in 1959 when I left my family to go live with another family on the mission compound outside Les Cayes, Haiti. There I suffered verbal and sexual abuse.

When my parents and I said our goodbyes, it was a tearless fare well-at least for me because I shoved my emotions way down inside. As we drove off, I turned to watch my Mom and Dad. They were waving, pressed close together, Dad's arm wrapped around Mom's waist.

I watched as they shrunk smaller and smaller, soon disappearing altogether as we rounded the bend. Little did I know that this would be the first of many such scenes over the next ten years. These would take on many different perspectives but always with the same feelings - never knowing when or if we would see each other again. Like that of today's parents sending their eighteen-year-old son off to war in Iraq or Afghanistan.

The Government of Canada's recent apology to First Nations people came belatedly. It is, however, an important step down the road that leads to repentance, reconciliation, and restitution.

When Prime Minister Harper apologised, it was not for the misdeeds of his own government and for actions of his own administration. He was apologising for the governments that were in power during mo re than a century when these offenses were committed. He was apologising to the victims of those administrations, both dead and alive.

This raises the question of when the United States government will have the courage to apologise to America's First Peoples for the way we have treated them over the course of our history. The United States Senate offered an apology as an amendment to another Senate bill. But when will the President of the United States stand before the nation and offer a full official apology on behalf of all Americans?

There's no doubt that taking "collective responsibility" for the wrongs against a people group would make an enormous impact if a government were to admit failure and ask forgiveness for the wrongs committed by those responsible for the government throughout history. I'm also well aware that it is impossible for governments and men and women to change hundreds of years of crimes against their fellow man with just the stroke of a pen or a public declaration. There must be heart-searching, prayer, confession of wrongs committed, and a commitment to change. Saying we're sorry is not enough. We must also admit guilt and seek to right the wrongs committed by our forefathers.

"I want to be free!"

Despite what the critics say, one of the best motion pictures to come out in 1998 was Steven Spielberg's Amistad. This dealt with the tragic holocaust brought upon the slaves of West Africa in England, the United States and the Caribbean islands since Columbus set foot on Mole Saint Nicolas in what is now Haiti.

When the leader of the band of slaves that escaped had a chance to speak in his halting English, he spoke just six words. "Freedom! I want to be free!"

True freedom only comes from God. Our Aboriginal people will only be set free when we as a nation, collectively seek our Creator's face and repent from our evil deeds. Then God will hear from heaven and heal our land.

I know all too well the pain of separation and abandonment by my parents, through no fault of their own. They were not given a choice.

Over the years, I've received healing and I'm on a journey of forgiveness and growth. I'm learning the lessons I need to learn and getting the answers I need to hear in order to continue the process of becoming the man God intended me to be.

I wish the same for my Aboriginal brothers and sisters in Canada and the United States.

Jim Uttley, communications coordinator for Wiconi International, is also the editor of Indian Life and serves as Native American news correspondent for Assist News Service.

FOR MORE SIGHT-SEEING, click here...