20th May, 2005

JO HOPPING

Suffering. I’m definitely with the crew who try and steer clear of the concept. My poor kids aren’t allowed to even whinge about feeling sick and I’m sure that’s why God allows me to cop a dose of their latest bug soon afterwards - I complain the loudest, am convinced it’ll kill me and get a fresh serve of sympathy for the daughter(s) who endured it first.

PICTURE: Ana Labate (www.sxc.hu) "Suffering reminds us of our need for others. ‘Sin’ is pretty much another word for self-sufficiency. We don’t need a hand, thank you very much, and especially not from God! Often I reckon God’s just standing there, grinning cheerfully and waiting for me to stop mucking things up and give Him a go instead."

So how do I reconcile suffering with a loving, all-powerful God? Can’t. Not this side of heaven with my pea-sized ability to reason, anyway. But it’s clear that suffering will shape us, often for the better.

Suffering deepens our sense of empathy. There’s nothing like being left out in the cold to know the treasure of a blanket and a hot meal.

Suffering develops an ability to persevere. We’ve all heard the reports of small children in behavioural experiments - the ones who manage to leave the treats alone are those who can delay gratification in their adult life. (I would have grabbed my lolly - and theirs - and run!) We’ve read the biographies of those who triumph over adversity or physical challenges and we love them for it. Yet at the first sign of hardship in our own life we often run howling to our en-suited king-size bedroom in protest.

Suffering reminds us of our need for others. ‘Sin’ is pretty much another word for self-sufficiency. We don’t need a hand, thank you very much, and especially not from God! Often I reckon God’s just standing there, grinning cheerfully and waiting for me to stop mucking things up and give Him a go instead. There’s the well-quoted verse that says God works things together for good in the lives of those who love Him. Note it never said He created the mayhem in the first place!

Suffering shows us that we are indeed responsible to some extent for the welfare of other people. Mother Teresa said that a hungry person doesn’t die because of God, but because you and I chose not to help them.

What about the hungry children and the violence? The scale of pain is difficult for us to absorb from our lounge rooms, but it helps to remember what the Russian writer, Dostoyevsky, pointed out: pain comes to one person at a time. Journalists usually report the difficulties on a large scale. What we often miss are the equally valid stories of change ‘one by one’ - the woman who began taking orphaned children into her home in Kenya and who now houses and educates 120 children. The Aussie clinical psychologist who flies into Africa and assists in the rescue and rehabilitation of young girls sold into child slavery. The single bloke here on Queensland's Sunshine Coast who decides to invest his spare time into sitting with those in palliative care and who need a friend. The team who fire up the BBQ to feed a bunch of people living in the park who otherwise have limited dining options each week.

I heard someone say recently that they won’t trust a man who hasn’t been broken. It’s through this stuff that we find out what counts, and we enlarge our hearts.

Are you up for it?