26th April, 2004

CAROLE ADAMS

For the last couple of weeks I have been puzzling over a cross-stitch pattern which I had been asked to do for someone. Not exactly a life-changing problem, but one which has annoyed and frustrated me. Annoying because cross-stitch is a hobby which I usually find easy and relaxing, and frustrating because I couldn’t see a way to do it which would give a good result. The picture is of autumn trees along the side of a road – lovely in the picture, but so hard to put together. When I first began, I realized that there would be no sense of picture for a long time, just a series of individual stitches in different colors, and to make it worse I couldn’t see where I had begun or where I was to go next.

So I did the obvious – I packed it up. Too hard! A few days later when the panic had subsided I took it out and considered the problems more calmly. The graph I had to follow was too small and blurry, so I enlarged it on the photocopier. I had to know where to start stitching each time I picked it up, so I marked each stitch on the graph with a highlighter as I did it. It is very slow work, but I am progressing. Can’t see the picture at all yet, just a lot of individual stitches, but the colors are looking good together, and it seems to be coming together.

Over the past two weeks I have begun doing 40 days of Purpose with my church. I didn’t see the connection for a while either. One day while cross-stitching I felt a nudge from God – “you handle your life like you did the cross stitch”. What? As I stitched I thought about it. When I don’t understand what my purpose is – what I am supposed to be doing - what do I do? Easy – I panic and feel like giving up, packing the problem away. I began to see what God was trying to reveal to me.

The pattern for my life was there, but it was often too blurry and small for me to see, so I needed to take a closer look at the pattern – go back to the Bible, spend time in prayer till it all becomes a little clearer. I can’t see the big picture that the Creator can, but I can put in my individual stitches day by day and trust that they are an essential part of the finished product. I need to highlight where I have come from so that I remember all that God has done for me and in my life – it helps to be able to look back when the next step seems unsure, it gives me confidence to go on.

So my cross stitch trauma has been resolved – I can do it if I go slowly and patiently, stitch by stitch. I don’t think the picture is going to be clear until I am nearly finished, but I feel confident that it will all come together in the end. That’s how I am beginning to feel about the purpose of my life too – one day at at time, keeping my eyes on the Creator and the parts of the pattern I can see, and it will all come together in the end.

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