24th February, 2005

DAVID ADAMS

Merryl, a 46-year-old Sydneysider, had never really thought about using the internet to meet other Christians - much less using the world wide web to find someone to spend the rest of her life with. After taking part in a speed dating night last year organised through website Christians Online however, she’s now gradually becoming a convert.

The divorcee first came across the website after a friend - somewhat anxious about her single status - recommended she have a look.

“When I went in, I saw I had to put in my profile and I just turned the other way and thought 'No, no, no - I don’t have to do this; surely I don’t have to do this'.”

PICTURE: Dan Fletcher (iStockphoto.com). Index page image: Daniel Goodchild (iStockphoto.com)   “The Christian singles community is very much a hidden community...” he says. “Quite often singles go to church and church is so fragmented that (they become) isolated. So often church isn’t a good way of meeting people unless you go to one of these big mega-churches and even then they often don’t do a lot for single people.” - Andrew Thonemann, marketing director for singles oriented website, Christian Connection Australia

But Merryl returned to the site a few weeks later after some more urging from her friend and saw a link to a speed dating section. She immediately thought it was a good idea - at least in part because, having been to singles events before, she felt the night represented “good value for money” and in part because it meant meeting a whole group of new people face-to-face.

The night was held at a cafe-bar overlooking Darling Harbour late last year. Men and women were paired off and spent about eight minutes chatting with each member of the opposite sex before moving on. They could then indicate whether they were interested in pursuing a relationship with someone or not on a special card.

While love hasn’t bloomed out of that night’s encounters (Merryl was contacted by two men following the evening but in both cases is not pursuing the relationship), she says it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless.

“I met lovely females as well as nice guys and I did enjoy the night as it turned out. Next week we’ve got another one and I’m not hesitating in going...

“I’ll just continue to meet some more people and if that turns out to be someone who you might consider spending a lifetime with, that’s great, but if not, well that’s fine too.”

Merryl is one of thousands of Christian Australians who are using the internet as a tool in their quest for friends and, just maybe, that someone special.

The website Christians Online commenced in 2001 and now has about 10,000 members. People can sign up to contribute to the site by posting articles and advertisements or to become what Cherie Davidson, the site’s editor, calls a “Christian friend” in which they fill out a profile form and post their details on the web with the purpose of meeting others.

“We decided to call it ‘Christian friends’ as opposed to ‘Christian dating’ or ‘Christian singles’ mainly because we have a lot of people who want just to make friends and have Christian pen-friends or who maybe are moving interstate and want to know which school to send their kids,” says Davidson, who has worked at the site for about eight months.

“You don’t have to be single, you don’t have to be looking for somebody but if you’re looking for a Christian friend or for somebody to encourage you or support you, then that option is there for you as well...I must say that obviously the biggest part of it is the singles part of it - that’s what people come mainly for, but there is definitely a lot of people on there (who don’t).”

Davidson says the site was started after a need was identified within Christian circles for singles to meet somewhere other than church. While many Christian singles “church-hop” in their search for a partner, Davidson says that for those who are involved or committed to a particular church opportunities to meet other Christian singles can be limited.

Andrew Thonemann, marketing director at another website offering a chance for Christian singles to interact - Christian Connection Australia, agrees that it can be hard for Christian singles to meet others, particularly if they don’t wish to be involved in the secular singles scene.

“The Christian singles community is very much a hidden community...” he says. “Quite often singles go to church and church is so fragmented that (they become) isolated. So often church isn’t a good way of meeting people unless you go to one of these big mega-churches and even then they often don’t do a lot for single people.”

Christian Connection was first started in the United Kingdom in 2000 where it now boasts of having had some 200 weddings result from people meeting via its website.

The Australian site, which already has about 2,000 members and is even celebrating its first wedding, kicked off last August. As with Christians Online, those who sign up fill out a profile form, answering about 32 questions about themselves ranging from their eye color through to their favorite Bible verse. They can also write a short essay or two about themselves - Thonemann describes these as covering “what you’re looking for, what your values are and where you are in life”.

The profile is posted onto the site along with a photograph. Members can then browse through the other profiles, including those whose profile is found to “match” their own.

The site doesn’t allow the use of nicknames and street addresses and phone numbers are kept hidden for administrators’ eyes only and initial contact is made through email.

“We find that security is one of the biggest issues for people - that they don’t want to give out too much information and be too exposed until they’re ready,” says Thonemann.

As Merryl discovered, along with website listings, Christians Online also offers a speed dating service (something which Christian Connection is currently considering).

Davidson says she introduced the service late last year after seeing its success in the United States. Each night involves 20 men and 20 women and there are two different age groups. Nights are presently being held in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane.

Trying to nail down the demographic of those who use sites such as Christians Online and Christian Connection is difficult.

Davidson says the majority of Christian Online’s members are aged between 25 and 50 while statistics from Christian Connection’s UK site show a similar trend with the majority of members - 81 per cent - aged between 26 and 50 (although an increasing number of newcomers are aged in the 50 to 70 age bracket). The British figures also show that some 43 per cent of members are male and 57 per cent female.

While there is a plethora of secular websites aimed at the singles market, those behind the Christian sites say their services are aimed specifically at Christians who are looking to meet people with similar beliefs and value systems.

Thonemann says that for many Christians finding a person who has similar values to them is extremely important.

“For Christian believers that’s paramount - that they would not be unequally yoked - which means that they are looking for a Christian partner. That’s why for a Christian it’s far harder to find someone because the pool is so much smaller. People don’t walk around with a sign on their head saying 'I’m a single Christian'. But by using the website, of course, they do have a sign on their head saying they’re a single Christian.”

Merryl says the Christian focus of Christians Online was important for her. “I couldn’t see a whole lot of point going into non-Christian speed-dating. I tend to think it’s a bit more of a meat-market out there and that’s not what I’m looking for. I couldn’t really see the point.”

She is now looking forward to her next speed dating meeting and is also thinking about how she can refresh her online profile - perhaps by adding a more up-to-date photograph.

While confessing she initially had some reservations about putting a profile online (she had to do so to take part in a speed dating session), Merryl says that she’s now confident the website “is just another opportunity to meet people”.

• Merryl’s name has been changed for this article.

~www.christianconnection.com.au

~www.christiansonline.com.au